How to Deal With Long-Distance Relationships

Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are a bizarre concept.

How to Deal With Long-Distance Relationships (image from newrichstrategies.com)

After all, being figuratively ‘together’ but physically apart are completely conflicting ideas. However, modern life is forcing more and more couples into this situation. Relocation of jobs, studying at different universities, meeting on UK dating sites, holiday romances – these are just some of the scenarios that force couples to live apart. However, modernity has also provided us with loads of ways to have a full and happy LDR. Here are a few methods couples use to deal with distance:

Constant Communication

parcel

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vizzzual-dot-com/2948587871/

Speaking at least once a day is a great way to nurse that craving for each other. Plus, with the wonderful world of the internet there are many ways you can chat for free. Facebook, msn, Skype – the possibilities are endless. Try to vary your communication to keep it interesting.  One really nice way to say a surprise hello every so often, although it will take a bit longer, is to send a parcel with a letter and a few lightweight gifts. Keeping in contact is essential for keeping anxiety and jealousy at bay – feelings that can all too often poison long distance relationships.

 

Webcams

Buy a webcam. It helps so much to be able to see each other – if your camera is good enough quality it will be like your other half is in the room with you! Set up a Skype date and watch a whole film at the same time, or set up your laptop whilst you’re doing food prep – it’s a great way to feel like you’re actually present in your partner’s everyday life. Be careful, though – it can also make you miss each other a lot more!

 

Planning in Advance

If you see each other once a month, make sure you spend some time leading up to the visit planning. For example, arranging candlelit dinners, days out and walks along the river if you’re dating Belfast people is a great way to take your mind off each other’s absence. Also, if you prepare and book weeks ahead, travel tickets will be so much cheaper, meaning you can afford more visits.

 

Left Luggage

Toothbrushes

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ektogamat/2952129288/

Every time you visit, leave something behind. Permanent fixtures might include a toothbrush, something to sleep in, a pair of heels and a warm jumper. This really helps you feel at home when you get there. It’s also comforting to have some of your partner’s stuff around when you miss them – to wear or to sniff depending on the severity of your withdrawal symptoms!

The Solution

Never stop thinking and talking about solving the problem of distance. The relationship cannot work like this forever, and having an achievable end solution where you will both live together in the same place is essential to keep it going.

Don’t let an LDR get you down. The above coping mechanisms will help you stay together and manage your emotions until you can find a solution to your situation.

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40 Responses to How to Deal With Long-Distance Relationships

  1. Pinx says:

    My hubby and I survived 2 loooooonnng years of LDR!!! Everyday, we never miss to text or call each other, it was costly but it was all worth it! now, we’re forever together! pssssttt… kay B ni noh? hehehehe…

  2. KM says:

    awww :’) medyo naka-relate ako. lol. before i got married, my then-boyfriend-now-husband did a year of LDR. he moved to the States to do his residency, while i was left in Canada. it wasn’t much of an LDR because we’re basically just 8-hour drive away from each other (so parang manila to baguio lang). we did all those you mentioned above (hence, nakarelate). hehe! we had dinner together every day over skype (except when he’s on call/night shift). he visited me every month, and the rest is history…

    ayan, nag-travel down the memory lane tuloy ako dito, ms. gagay at napakwento pa :D

    • Admin says:

      No Prob Mommy KM!

      hehehehe.. kami din bf ko ngaun, medyo LDR din kasi he’s in Mindanao now and am just here in Cebu.. :D but that was only since last August..and until now, we haven’t see each other yet..waaaaaaaaaah! mag three months na..hahaha!!!

  3. sir rob says:

    I was into two long distance before, the first one did not work and the last one, I end of marrying her. @ years of LDR then we are now married for 2 years as well. I wouldn’t say that it is easy but it is not that hard as well though it is tough but you just have to constantly adjust and increase your patience.

  4. Jessica says:

    Long distance relationship is hard but if you have trust with each other, the loneliness can be cope up. There are ways to catch up like you shared here. Great ideas and keep the love on fire :-)

  5. genny says:

    LDR is difficult indeed, sad to say nakalimtan ko..waaaa well, it is his lost not mine..:-)

  6. zoan says:

    LDR – hmmmm I have been into two long distance relationship and yes it was so hard. I mean hey, you really need to have time for each other even though you are far away from each other and yes, you should hold on to that bond, to that love, as long as you can to keep the fire burning… :)

  7. pretty kat says:

    I had LDR a couple of years ago, obviously, it didn’t work. We had all the gadgets for communication, but still it didn’t work. The real and true gadget to be used for LDR is the word ¨TRUST¨.

  8. Claire says:

    Once I had a LDR, however, due to some constraints I was taken aback. Maybe, if he pursued me I guess we ended up together.

  9. Hello Gay,

    I am so much into this thing LDR now, but sadly its been more than a month since our last talk. So now I just presumed that he already forgets me. I wouldn’t make the first move. Because I always believe that if he really loves me, he would find ways that lead to me.

    But looks like he already cuts the line and we’ve go on our separate ways. So until now in search pa rin ako. WAhhhhh

    Thank you much

    Lady

  10. MaxiVelasco says:

    Boyfriend and I dated long distance for more than a year before I finally decided to give migrating to Sweden a try. Because we trust and love each other for real, long distance relationship wasn’t a hindrance at all. Everything came easy. Of course, with the help of technology [we e-mail each other a lot. Chat/video chat --- not much] communication had been regular.

    We also send each others snail mails twice or thrice a month which was way cooler than e-communication.

    have a fun day, doc GG!

  11. Mel Cole says:

    I can relate. Open communication is very important in a long distance relationship. This post made me nostalgic.

  12. kayce says:

    I actually haven’t tried having a LDR relationship but I definitely agree that having an open communication plus this helpful tips could help strengthen one’s long distance relationship.

  13. vonn david says:

    Nku,, i am never a fan of LDR…well if it works for others then good for them

  14. Algene says:

    My pinsan should read this ate Gay! lol Swito sa LDR? hahaha

  15. tess says:

    my LDR relationship1.)ex hubby-were doing okay with LDR for more than a year then we lived together in KSA for only a year and ended up in divorced.2.)EX fiancee ,we practically lived together for more than a year until I finally went back to Phil for our wedding ,in less than a month ,the wedding was off 3.)ex fiancee,i was in Qatar,he is in USA,did not work coz my hubby came into my life and I marry him instead so goodbye to LDR. 4.) HAPPILY MARRIED,we have LDR every now and then for more than 8 years of marriage but our love is getting stronger.

  16. sionee says:

    I love this part – to wear or to sniff depending on the severity of your withdrawal symptoms! hihihi
    This is a very nice entry! :D

  17. Leah says:

    Hmm.. I just had an LDR but it didn’t work. The man cannot be trusted. tsk. Pero naniniwala pa din ako na a LDR can work.. depende na lang tlga sa dalawang taong involved kung willing silang gumawa ng paraan. It should be two-way.. :)

  18. paliiits says:

    WOW doc :D
    ingun pa nila, it’s who you love and not how close they are n_n

  19. michi says:

    not a fan of LDR, hindi ko kaya ito, few days or weeks lang nawala si hubby, nalulungkot na ko. kaya ayaw ko siya mag-abroad. =)

  20. Nessie says:

    My bf and I used to do the LDR thing. We met online through this online game. Became friends for months. Then when the possibility of me staying here in Manila was discussed, we became a couple. Back I wasn’t able to make the move agad. It’s hard. I don’t agree with the making plans though. Kasi the disappointment is worse when the plans don’t fall through. But that’s based on my experience, of course. So you don’t have to take my word for it. Btw, three years na kami ng bf ko. And we’re living together (engaged).

  21. chrisair says:

    my hubby is an ofw I guest I belong to the group

  22. nancy says:

    Pwede ma stun? Did you intentionally write this for me, Gagay? :D Don’t worry we’re trying to make things work for us and guess what… I’m looking forward to get hold of yet another — well that once in a while surprise hello you were talking about up there. :))

    Waaaaa….seriously, every caption written above is so so much me and my LD partner. We’re on it Gay and hopefully things will work out in our favor and in His perfect time. :)

  23. ness says:

    Haven’t got any experiences in LDR.. Not sure if I can do it too. Hehe..

  24. Enzo says:

    long distance relationship doesn’t work for me. i had one two years ago. but it only lasted for months.

  25. Rachelle says:

    I’m allergic na to long distance relationships! :-)

  26. athena/april says:

    i agree with skype dates, and skype is free sooooo it won’t really be much of a problem for LDRs. pero it’s not for the long run though =)

  27. Ayzee says:

    LDR. Really not for me. Tried it before, dunno if I’ll try it again. :)

  28. ArjAngel says:

    agreed, constant communication is the key, we always send sms and talk via webcam when I’m out of town.

  29. Bien Nonoy says:

    some LDR can really work but most of the time LDR’s don’t really work. It is rare for people to have LDR’s and make it work. At least that is my opinion and observation.

  30. i hear you Gagay being one of those in LDRs for almost 5 years this July. we have done lots of ways where we can always be together but i like what you said that we need to work on ways to solve distance coz we can’t be like this forever! we are having progress…thanks for the post.

  31. Noel says:

    In todays technology Long Distance Relationship is not a problem anymore especially if both partners are loyal, faithful and love each other. 15 years back LDR uses telephone and mailing system but in todays technology we already have a chating online, the facebook, yahoo messanger, skype, and many more.

  32. markpogi says:

    With today’s technologies, these really help those who were in LDR as its not as expensive as it was a few years ago.

  33. dong salvar says:

    i am in LDR once. sad to say, di nagworkout. sob.

  34. The way I understand on how to make LDR last forever is to maintain a regular communications, to have a faith, trust and confidence with each other. Without these things, I think LDR will surely fail.

  35. Wow doctora, great tips! Parang expert ka na sa ganitong bagay ah! :-D

  36. Jhoveleen says:

    I’m into this relationship. But thanks to our technology till now we still have that endless communication.

  37. This kind of relationship is not working for me!

  38. Star says:

    I met my BF through a dating site and after 3 months of chatting everyday we’re finally On and after 10 months of talking in a phone and chatting , he decided to meet me last January. First day here we both so sweet , but still shy to each other. We went to an island with his cousin and my friends , but unfortunately we find that we are not compatible . We are so sweet in the net, but in real life we don’t talked so much. He hesitate to started a conversation and always murmuring so I was so afraid and avoided him. When he go back in USA we parted ways because we both know we’re not meant to be. He still called me Sweetie and he said he still loves me but for me, it’s better off . It hurts me but I had to accept it. Thanks .

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